Crushes can be crushing, I guess thats where the name comes from. They can consume every thought and every action you do. Some crushes can almost feel like love - and those are the ones that suck the big one. Some crushes can be harmless and can just be attraction. I have, for many years, been a victim of the crush. I have quite an active imagination, so when the crush starts - so do the plans. I don't mean the plans to trap them in my grip, I mean the plans where you start to imagine doing stuff together.
I have found that there are many types of crushes:
The Celebrity Crush
These are quite harmless (unless you have stalker qualities). You see a famous person who you find attractive, and then you find out more and more about them and you start to like them more and more. You become a fan of everything they do and you will defend them in anything they do. They can't do anything wrong, and if they do it isn't their fault.
The Lust Crush
This can sometimes be someone you know or someone you see quite often. Just seeing them makes you smile and distracts you for a moment. They don't develop any further than looking, no one ever has to know, its your own little secret.
The Sex Crush
This is quite an explicit fantasy crush. You love everything about their appearance and you just dream about one day getting the chance to be with them. They have all the attributes that you find sexually attractive. You do run the risk of not being able to find anyone else as attractive because they don't compare. Also if you finally get the chance to be with them you find out that there is nothing in common; still it could be a good time.
The Friend Crush
These can be fun and no one has to get hurt. They are weird relationships that develop from having a lot in common with someone. You want to talk to them and hang out with them all the time. The crush element comes from the fact that they can consume your thoughts - you want to share everything with them, but you probably not sexually attracted to them. An example of this might be called a 'bromance'.
The Love Crush
This is probably the most damaging type to a person. This is a crush that often sounds belittled when someone calls it 'just a crush' to your face. You believe it is so much more than what it is. You think about them all the time, you think about what you can say to them all the time and everything you do do you want to tell them and share. You imagine a future that may never happen. You might become friends with this person as this is all you feel you will ever achieve - so its best to have them in your life in a small capacity, then to not have them at all.
A warning from a survivor of 'The Love Crush' is that as harsh as it sounds - get over it. You are too into to it that it may even put your crush off you as a person. Be happy for what you can get, distract yourself by looking elsewhere. It will feel like no one else will ever compare, but I am holding on to the fact that one day there will be someone out there that has the equivalent crush on me as I do them.
The most damaging aspect of a crush is to your self esteem. You will start to question everything about yourself. Am I not attractive enough for them? Am I too fat for them? What are they looking for that I don't have? It can bring you down a lot of the time. Crushes can suck and can hurt. It is a weird emotion, you don't know what to do about it. You can create a brave moment and actually tell the person, and if this person is as great as you think they are it won't be that bad. They will still be your friend, but you will be aware of boundaries.
Just remember the bigger you love, the harder you can fall. A crush may seem to be an uncontrollable emotion but it doesn't have to be. Distract. Distract. Distract. I accepted my crush won't flower into anything, as much as it sucked. Yes, I still think about it but acceptance is your best friend in these moments.
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